Tea-Leaf Reading

Where I came from, tea was uncomplicated, humble. It came in unbleached Bushell's bags; all you had to do was add water and two and a half teaspoons of sugar, hold the milk. I didn't know about varieties and flavors.

Then at age 17, I stayed overnight at an older friend's house. We drank many varieties of beverages, all containing at least 12% alcohol. Next morning, we stumbled to the kitchen and stared at the empty innards of the fridge. My buddy, X, sighed and said, "All we've got is English breakfast. Do you want some?"

My vodka-soaked brain whirred. English breakfast? What's that, a spread of crumpets, kippers, pikelets, muffins and marmalade? It sounded fancy, as well as being far too much effort. Besides, I wasn't sure if X was a teeny bit delusional. All she had in the fridge was a lick of butter. I faked a yawn and replied, "Nah, don't go to any trouble. I think I'll just have tea."

X paused and raised an eyebrow. "Okay," she said slowly. She pulled a red box out of the pantry and got the water boiling. After that day, our friendship cooled. I didn't understand why until, maybe a year or so later, I finally figured out what English Breakfast was.

Do you know your gunpowder from your genmaicha? Your rooibos from your oolong? Blunder no more...
Teas etc
T2
Tea Leaves
The Tea Spot
Lady Mendi's Tea Salon in New York, where you'll really test your tea etiquette. I'm afraid to approach this establishment, given my blundering ways, but it looks purty from where I'm sitting.